To all my faithful friends, I must apologize for not writing for so long. It has been a very rough year and to be quite honest I am ready for that good year to follow. I will continue to praise the Lord during this storm for He has always been with me even when it didn't seem like He was there. I may never understand why things happen the way they do but what I do know is that we serve a God of miracles and He can do the impossible! Well if you take a look back at my post back in December titled "Storms of Life" you will see that I explained the marriage problems my husband and I had. Well I knew there was more to the story and I am going to keep it at that for he came back and I praised God for that miracle! After the holidays, things seem to go downhill, I noticed my husband quit reading the books and was slowly giving up on our marriage. Well it appears what I feared the most (that he would leave again) came true. I noticed the signs of what I suspected to be true and the lies just built up. He did it last September and lied again over the summer. He had been having an affair with another woman (a friend of mine that use to attend our church and she is married as well and her and her husband were having problems as well). My husband told me on Sunday morning before church that he was going to leave me and he left me that Wed, August 17th. I found out about the affair about a week after he had left me. My husband called our kids and took them to dinner and told them that he had filed for divorce and told them he had been seeing another woman but did not mention her name. Then later he called me and told me everything. I told him I had suspected another woman and that it was someone I knew and then preceeded to tell him what I knew and who it was. I had told him days prior to all of this to be very careful if he was seeing someone here and someone we knew because as former youth pastors we knew a lot of youth and people here, well needless to say someone did see them together. I saw the signs and when I heard the news I somewhat felt relieved just knowing that what I thought to be true was true. I also had an incredible peace within me. I knew God was preparing me for the truth. My husband has lied so much, definitely not the same man I once knew at all. He has become cold and hard hearted. It saddens me to see my husband like this. He has truly fallen into a life of sin. I do not understand why this has all happened or even why. I don't understand how a man could throw away God, his ministry, his family and his marriage of 26 years. He is truly blinded. I may never understand all of this but I do know a God who has a plan and I put my trust in Him. During all this ordeal over the last year, I have never stopped trusting God nor will I now. I have learned that God never gives you more than you can handle. When he left me again, I was so upset and couldn't believe this was all happening to me again but I serve an AMAZING God. God was there the whole time, He never leaves you nor forsakes you. He gave me the strength I never knew I had to get through this and still providing that strength even now. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
I have learned to rely on the Word of God each day and that scripture has helped me so much during this storm in my life. I am going to continue to praise the Lord in the midst of this storm! I know one day a testimony will come out of all this. I am praying for a miracle in our marriage!!! Whether it happens before the divorce is finalized or after divorce, I am going to continue lifting him up in prayer daily and praying for that miracle!!! I believe God can restore a broken marriage such as ours and I believe God can restore a lost soul such as my husband. God can do the impossible!!! This is my story and one day I hope to be able to help others in a similar situation. Marriages are under attack! We must humble ourselves before God and fall on our face before Him and pray for marriages!!! I am claiming the victory no matter what the outcome may be, Christ is always victorious!!! You just have to keep your eyes on Jesus!!! My focus is on my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and our kids. I have been in prayer for my husband, Bill and our family and the other woman and her family as well. I have found that praying for others before your own needs is very rewarding and God gives you such a joy and peace. There are always others that are going through something similar to what you are going through now. You spend hours and hours in prayer and it is so refreshing. God clears your mind and gives you that incredible peace. I am truly blessed! No matter what the outcome I will continue to PRAISE the Lord, no matter what the outcome I will continue to trust TRUST in God, no matter what the outcome I will continue to PRAY!!! It is when we are at our weakest we become strong. It is not in our own strength but by the grace of God that He gives us that strength. When we truly forgive others then we find peace in our own heart. I can truly say that I have forgiven both my husband and the other woman, trusting will take some time. You have to remember that Christ died on the cross for our sins. A sin is a sin in God's eye whereas we look at sin from a human perspective, we view it as if some sins are worse. We still have to learn to forgive for God's Word tells us that if we do not forgive men of their sins, then our heavenly Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:15).
We must not let bitterness build up for we have to give it all to God, completely surrender it all. God truly prepared me for what was to come and I believe that greater things are ahead no matter what the outcome may be. I know a God who can and will do the IMPOSSIBLE!!! I believe in MIRACLES!!! It takes FAITH!!! Never give up, keep the faith!!! KEEP YOUR FOCUS ON GOD AND NOT THE CIRCUMSTANCES!!! Storms are a part of life and it how God prepares us for what lies ahead. He teaches us to persevere and overcome the obstacles surrounding us. He teaches us to fully put our trust in Him. I am praying for a miracle in our marriage, my husband, Bill that the blinders would be removed and the he would begin to see God through his eyes, and also for the marriages that are under attack that they would be completely restored and healed.
The storms may keep coming but I am keeping my focus on the Lord!!! Thank you and God Bless!!!
